PEACE OUT 2017!

Oh 2017, my dear friend, you were for sure my most challenging year. No hard feelings, but I am ready to say good-bye. You pushed me to fight and become stronger and it taught me a lot, but it was also very exhausting. I learned to focus on myself love and chose to put my happiness first. I was able to let go of the negative and focus on all positive. Here is a little monthly recap of what 2017 looked like:

January:

My birthday month (best month obviously), but this month I was fighting a mental breakdown. Looking back at photos I could see it on my face I was ready to break down. I hate this memory of me, but the months to come do have light at the end of the tunnel.

"...light at the end of the tunnel."

February:

I had a mental break down that placed me in the hospital for a time span of two weeks. I would like to apologize for all of the pain, stress, and fear I put not just my body, but also everyone I love through that. I will never harm my body again; I have learned to love it too much to ever do such a thing again.

"I love my body..."

March:

Finally gained the strength to remove the monsters from my life. Best day of my life happened this month and I will never forget that morning waking up.

April:

I was hurting from the heartache, but slowly gaining back my strength.

"I will be happy again..."

May:

As the semester came to an end I promised myself to love who I am and to forget any pain that haunted me. This was the beginning of something beautiful.

 "The beginning of something beautiful." 

June:

While surrounding myself with wonderful friends, I discovered my best girlfriend. We share the same love of aviation. I am so proud of her.

July:

I passed stats with a B (I am not a numbers person so this was magical) and I did some traveling in the Midwest.

*Side note: I am ready to go back to Chicago.

August:

Junior year of college started, and I met someone who ends up becoming a part of the rest of my 2017 in a positive way. It is funny how life throws things at you out of nowhere when you are least expecting it.

September:

Irma came so basically this month didn’t even happen this year. Also lost a dear friend from my childhood. I will forever think about you every time the sunsets on the river, keep on fishing Rider.

"R.I.P. Rider..."

October:

Once again building a wonderful relationship with the person from August. Loving my friends. Making my parents proud. I also had to say goodbye to my best guy friend as he left to start his airline career. I am so happy for him.

November:

Finally, the business August person and I started really kicked into gears this month. This was a very great month I traveled a lot this month. The world is a beautiful place.

"Some advice: You should try to travel often."

December:

The semester ended. I have always dreaded the holiday season. For the first time in years, I was able to get through Christmas without a panic attack, it was a huge step in my healing process.

The year started off rough, but that was my own fault. I was too focused loving something that was only tearing me down. I was allowing monsters from the past tear me down, and I convinced myself that I was not enough. What I learned though is that I am enough. I am more than enough. What I learned this year is that the best love is not shared with another person, the best love is the love you share with yourself. You are in control of your life. I still have my moments, I am still in the process of healing from my wounds. To those who caused me great pain in my life I will be leaving you in 2017. To those who have been a blessing in my life I will take you along with me into 2018. I cannot wait to not just watch myself grow; I can’t wait to watch as we all grow together in 2018.

Don’t forget to smile,

With love

Xo, M